American Politics 2016
Our Presidential Candidates, current and erstwhile, take on new personas…
“Hi everyone! I’m Hillary, your FairyGod Mother and I’m here to ROCK YOUR WORLD! Yes I can! One wave of my magic wand will fix everything…I mean EVERYTHING! I am Madam Secretary, I was First Lady and I have BILL! All I need now is YOUR VOTE!!!…”
OH MY…upper left I see Christie dressed as Humpty Dumpty (imagine).. He appears to be falling off the wall, but rumor has it he was actually jumping in a failed suicide attempt. He really wanted to dive from the GW in an honorable fashion, but he has been permanently banned from the bridge. He is expected to recover and continue licking the sandals of Cesar.
And just in front of Christie…why, it’s Carly Fiorina! Ah! No suicide for this witch! She’s VERY focused on her new careers and her passion! With Hewlett Packard in the rearview mirror, as well as her failed run for ‘Pres’, she’s selling brooms and teaching flying lessons…(on brooms, of course!) Her passion; dive-bombing with destructive force any and all planned parenthood facilities…and patrons; namely, poor women and girls desperately in need of feminine health care and counseling. Go get ‘em, Carly!!
And down in front of the Fairy God Mother, appearing with his flock, we have the good shepherd, John Kasich. See his adoring flock? How they love him. They have no choice. The main word in his vocabulary is “I”. Look at all “I” have done for you!! I am “The Man!” Guess he should have a magic wand also!
And in the center, reigning supreme, none other than “The Donald”. As Julius Cesar his message is simple: “Render unto Cesar that which is Cesar’s!” Hey, listen up RNC. He’s the only one who’ll save your ass, so quit your crap! Remember how good he is with hemlock? Besides, he’s friggin’ rich, doesn’t need the job and sure as hell doesn’t need your dysfunctional party. Yes he’s probably crazy, but so is everyone else that wants that thankless, impossible job!!!
Next!! Standing over Cesar is the ‘Reverend’ Doctor Carson. A saintly, wise and good man, he reads a message to the world from the ‘GOOD’ book; specifically from the ‘BOOK’ of Donald’. Yes, a new addition to the ‘Good Book’. Well, of course! When you manifest, GO BIG! Bible not withstanding…
And off to our far right, who but the wonderful and powerful Uncle Bernie ‘Zeus’ Sanders, well poised upon Mt. Olympus, bolts of lightening in each hand as he declares total WAR on WALL $T. The bears and the bulls run for their lives as fire ravages their sacred, private enclave. Bernie ‘Zeus’ howls from on high…”YOU’LL FEEL THE BERN, ALRIGHT!!!”
Beneath Zeus, we have two darling boys; Baby Marco and Little Lord ‘Bush’ Fauntleroy. They seem to be sharing some down time and camaraderie, these two losers. Ah! The little lordling is reading to Baby Marco from the book of “Required Presidential Candidates Decorum”. Apparently, taken directly from the Constitution. (Impressive!) And on he reads…”Gee, Marco, nowhere do I find any mention of the size of a candidate’s hands having ANYTHING to do with his eligibility as a presidential contender.
So, that cinches it, Marco! I’m just so upset that my Daddy and Asshole Brother both made the ‘Pres’ and I didn’t. Hey, I have big hands and a good track record. Life is just SOOOO unfair”.
And last of our illustrious politicos in disguise, and airing their sentiments, we have “L’homme en rouge”…the Man in Red. Well, he had a choice. He could have been Pinocchio, but he chose ‘Red Ted’. Wanted the most ‘bang for his buck’. Hey, what the hell (home sweet home)…When I’m good I’m great; when I’m bad I’m better! Guess you can’t get much better than the devil himself! Move over, Carly! This guy has you beat!
So there you have it, folks! No, it’s not Halloween, it’s the race (crawl? brawl?) for president in America, 2016. What a free-for-all! Y’all decide and let’s keep laughing.